Dear Parents:

As you know, I frequently use my principal’s page to share noteworthy information from the National Association of Elementary School Principals Report to Parents.  This month I received the information below, which I felt had value for all of us as we balance the responsibilities of work, parenting, and other obligations in today’s world.   I hope you will find it as interesting and thought provoking as I did.

Communicating in the Electronic Age

When was the last time you had a real conversation with your child, face-to-face, with no TV in the background, music blaring, or computer blinking nearby?  The “sit down together” interaction that makes strong bonds between parents and children can be a challenge in the electronic age.  Here are some suggestions.

Facial Expressions Tell Stores:

While e-mails and phone calls are important ways to keep in touch, make sure you have “face” time every day too. You need to see the emotions on your children’s faces to understand what they’re saying and how they’re feeling.

Body Language Is Vital:

Watching your child’s body language is a great way to decipher some of the things that he or she may be thinking, but may not be telling you.  For example, does he look away when you ask him how he’s doing on a project, or does she fold her arms defiantly across her chest while describing a situation she had to deal with at school?  By talking alone, without distractions, you can get more insight and follow-up more effectively with them.

Are You Listening?

Multi-tasking has become a way of life.  If you’re constantly typing on the computer, writing a note, or making dinner while your child is trying to tell you something, after a while, they may say less and less until you lose what could have been good communication between you.  Make it a point to stop what you’re doing and listen when they’re talking with you.

Teach Them To Listen:

When you need to talk with your children, make sure they know how to really listen.  Turn off the TV or music and make eye contact.  If you need them to remember what you’re saying, have them repeat it.

Be There For Them:

Is your mind elsewhere when you’re in the stands at your child’s games or sitting on a bench on your trip together to the park?  When you’re talking on the cell phone or working on your PDA, your child is aware of what you’re doing.  Kids whose parents come to watch them perform or play can feel let down when they see that their parents aren’t attentive.  A quick call or check-in is fine, but remember why you came to the game or park in the first place.

Notes Bring Smiles:

It doesn’t take a lot of time or effort to drop an encouraging note in your child’s backpack or lunch bag.  They will appreciate your thoughtfulness.

Car Rides Are Great:

Instead of turning on the radio, try chatting.  You may find that your child is more open and talkative in the car, when no one’s around to overhear the conversation and there’s no eye contact.  Another advantage to car talks is that there’s a time limit and kids know the conversation will be over when they get out of the car.

The ability to talk easily and often with your children, and to have you both really listen to and care about what’s being said, is a huge advantage.  A big part of being a parent is to offer help and advice, and you need to know what’s going on in their lives to be able to do that.  Plus, there’s something wonderfully comforting for all of you just knowing that you’re there for each other. 

These small interactions can have a huge positive impact or your relationships with your children.  Parenting in today’s world has many challenges that were not present when we were growing up.  In many families, both parents are employed full time in order to provide the life style we all want for our children.  These tips will help you to “find the time” to know what your children are thinking and with whom they are spending their free time.   Enjoy!

Sincerely,